The Borgias 2.5, "The Choice"

"God will judge your actions now. So please, if anyone is willing..."

Fuck yeah, this episode!!

This time around, we get to see Rich People Church. Rich people get to sit on chairs. It's much less depressing to watch rich people drop coin into the collection basket.

Suddenly, Lucrezia has a tremendous Signorina Obvious moment during which she realizes that the Church is able to look so shiny and ornate because they leech cash out of the devoted's hands every Sunday. Welcome to consciousness, Lucrezia!

She, Vanossa, and Giulia Farnese are sitting together, the better to facilitate their little womanly tête-à-têtes concerning all things that would ruin the College of Cardinals' day.

Rodrigo is still probing Cesare about the KABOOM. Cesare's still being coy. He dryly cites his Cardinal status as proof of his innocence. Rodrigo, Cesare, and Ascanio Sforza are all wearing their big boy pants today. Ascanio Sforza looks much less vile in his civies.

The current plan: Rodrigo and Cardinal Sforza are road-tripping up to Florence to spy on Uncle Fester/Savonarola and hang out with Frollo/Machiavelli. Cesare's going to Catarina Sforza's castle in Forlì, intending to drag her back to Rome. Cardinal Sforza thinks he's an idiot for going alone. As they go their separate ways, Rodrigo epically roars, "You tell that Lady that if she does not obey Us, we shall reduce her fortunes to dust and DRAG HER IN CHAINS THROUGH THE STREETS OF ROME THE CHOICE IS HERS! TO FLORENCE, AND ITS HERETIC SAVONAROLA!!! BE PREPAAAAAAAAARED!"

Girls Ep. 3, "All Adventurous Women Do"

Scene 1:

Charlie has shaved his head. He breaks it to Marnie as a surprise. She is understandably enraged. "Whooooooo-whee," he hums awkwardly. "You look scary to me, like Mickey Mouse without the ears. Why are you doing this!?" It's in support of someone at the office who's starting chemo. Marnie yells at him for making her look like an asshole.

Hannah emerges from her bedroom, all gothed-up, posing, purring, "How do I look?"

"You look like you're about to put a hex on some popular girls," says Charlie. Hannah's like, "All right, American History X".

Marnie wonders why everyone in her life looks scary. Ha. That's nothing. Sometimes I have goth days, and on those days I tend to wear concealer as lipstick to really affect that White Walker look.

The Borgias 2.4 - Stray Dogs

Go ahead.

Paint us.

We open very soon after where we've closed - indeed, I don't think anyone's even had a wardrobe change. Rodrigo, Cesare, and Victor/Victoria are all toasting their great plaster victory. The dynamic is kind of hilarious, vis-à-vis Victor/Victoria's vaginahood: Rodrigo doesn't know Cesare knows. Cesare doesn't know Rodrigo's tapped that. Victor/Victoria doesn't know how unlikely it is that she'll live out the season.

Here's another thing that's kind of queer: it seemed like nobody in the city knew about the plaster cannons, except for Cesare and Victor/Victoria. ...AND all the employees of all 20 or 30 foundries in Rome. HOW did this not get leaked?

Micheletto shows up, kind of killing the mood with his sociopathic ginger presence. He's clutching the general area around his heart, which could be a sign of grief, but it looks like he's just been stabbed and is being pretty casual about it. Cesare knows immediately that there's something terribly wrong, BUT WHAT? And then Micheletto reveals that the French rode in on the road through Ostia, right by the convent of St. Caecelia... DUN DUN DUN. Ride, Cesare, ride to your ladylove whom you abuse horrifically!

SMOKE ON THE HORIZON. OH HEEEEEEEELL NO.