The Borgias Ep. 6, The French King - Review

I was thinking, in lieu of a review this week, we would have a little event. A beauty pageant. Or an ugly pageant. And now, I present, the illustrious finalists of the Mr. Ugly "The Borgias" Cast Member 1492!

King Charles of France. Pros: Has campaigned extensively for the title. Cons: Has a personality that is surprisingly endearing.

Rodrigo Borgia, Pope Alexander VI. Pros: Has done something reprehensible to nearly every character. Cons: Is Jeremy Irons.

King Ferrante of Naples. Pros: Grotesque senility, notorious cruelty, deplorable table manners, bean-shaped head. Cons: He can't do much harm anymore.

Disqualified: these men are deceased.

This week's episode is all about give and take. We endure the utterly uninteresting Cesare/Ursula intrigue and are rewarded with a story arc that just about makes Juan the more interesting older brother. We muddle through too many sexless Paulo/Lucrezia scenes and are gifted an excellent bit of acting by Holliday Grainger, who perfectly communicates Lucrezia's sorrow at having to keep things from her family, of being forced to grow up in the harshest way possible. We are utterly deprived of Michelotto, but delivered a one-two punch of Alfonso (HOORAH!) and a Serious Theo Beatdown in the same episode! And the terrifying Lucrezia/Giovanni humping is entirely replaced with Sancia and Juan's wonderful humping, which could be the first sex that is actually sexy, despite being done in a room full of (dead, stuffed) people. Not to mention the Sancia/Gioffre pre-consummation scene, which was wonderfully handled, and creepy in a delightful enticing way.

In terms of sexless (well, sexless as far as we know) plot points, the casting gods have given us Michel Muller as King Charles of France. Charles is the first character we meet with none of the affectations of nobility, a wonderful contrast to Della Rovere, who finds himself having to completely adjust his negotiation style in the face of the capable and straight-talking king. Colm Feore also does some excellent work in this episode; we can tangibly see his resolve slipping away, his growing certainty that he is making a terrible mistake, and his dread of the point of no return.

It feels strange to me that the series just started and is already gearing up for the climax. I don't think I realized until now how accustomed I've become to the twelve-episode format. I think it would be in the show's best interests to start condensing the story lines into a faster-paced, more interconnected arc that could lead to a suitable cliffhanger at the end; but of course the episodes are already in the can. Otherwise the writers would totally agree with me. Totally.

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