Combat Hospital ep. 3, "It's My Party" - Recap

But more importantly, TIA CARRERE

Pederson snores like a trucker. Or like an elephant. Or like a foley guy standing in front of a microphone fake-snoring. Gordon is not impressed.

Then we get to see her with her hair down for the first time and finally she looks like Michelle Borth, like her sexy pouty hair-everywhere IMDb photo.

Then she's showering in a stall that only comes up to her shoulders. Kandahar is just going to keep looking more and more like summer camp throughout the episode. Especially when a nasty saucer-sized and depressingly CG tarantula inches its way over the shower wall to the strains of ominous horror-movie music. So, because Gordon is a chick and a military chick, she grabs her gun and shoots the fucker!

Hey, remember when Marks shot the snake and Buzzed Head guy ran in? Same basic principle. Except Stern Red Beret guy is not cheerfully official like Buzzed Head Guy.

Gordon: (cute, charmingly girlish) Heh, it was a spider. Smile!

Stern Red Beret guy: Was the spider armed, ma'am? Frown!

Lolzish title card still makes me lol.

Later, Gordon bitches at Trang about how they took her gun and might make her pay a fine. Too soft, I say! All the negative female stereotypes she just perpetrated, they should make her fork over her entire salary for a week and give everybody back rubs!

Trang: "You shot a spider buck naked." Aha, she totally did!

The vaguely Indian- or otherwise South Asian-looking pair of the awesome helicopter guys from last episode - you know the ones, the ones that Candid Camera'd DBG while he was mopping - steps up and says, "Major Gordon: for bravery, valour, your naked determination and active participation in ground spider combat..." "We'd like to award you with the Spider Combat Action Ribbon," finishes the black one of the pair. They salute. Everybody cheers. Pederson grins because she feeds off the unhappiness and humiliation of others, much like a Dementor, and informs Gordon that she'll be wearing it for at least a week. Gordon is so not into this shit.

And she's even less into it when a pretty Tia Carrere-lookiOH MY GOD IT'S TIA CARRERE. Ok, let me try that again: And she's even less into it when TIA CARRERE starts snapping pictures and asking her "don't mind me". Bitch, you Tia Carrere! I will MIND you, hear? She introduces herself as Jessica Draycott, which is an obvious lie, because her real name is Tia Carrere. "Photojournalist, and I was in Wayne's World. The folks back home are going to love this." 

Gordon: Uh, no, they're not, because you're not going to print this in your small-town paper at my expense.

Tia Carrere: Actually, it's Newsweek, and it's a magazine.

And go to hell, Gordon, for assuming that small-town papers send embedded journalists. Do you need me to remind you that YOU'RE IN AFGHANISTAN? Or did you perhaps intentionally forget you're in Afghanistan? Because if it's the latter, perhaps it plays very nicely into the Gordon Is Losing It theme of the episode.

Then DBG comes by and they actually do that thing where the hot gentleman and hot lady say something all biting and evil before making out with gusto. Except this is in front of everybody. Gordon goes "Ough." Genetically Perfect Royal goes "Well that's embarrassing." For her, maybe, as she is Tia Carrere. Simon surfaces from his snogging spree like he's been underwater for several minutes and snarls, "That's a nice medal, majuh." Then he drags Tia Carrere away to play doctuhs. Royal orders her to wear the medal all day and then giddily asks her if she's all set up for the party tomorrow.

Gordon: Party?

BITCH FORGOT ABOUT THE PARTY! The one Marks expressly asked her to arrange as the morale officer! The one she should have been working on ever since! This is bad. This is awkward. Gordon sputters. Royal grins literally from ear to ear. And I don't throw the word "literally" around lightly; how is he doing that? She's like "Um, I was just joking."

Then Royal threatens her with a fate worse than death for morale officers who fall through on their job; namely, "The bad side of my bad side," which is I guess akin to  what happens to babykillers in prison. So he walks off to scare the shit out of someone else, and Gordon makes my job super easy by going, "I'm going to have to Stone Soup this." And then Trang goes after her asking if "Stone Soup this" is a Canadian thing. Wait, is it? Or is he just dull?

Exposition: no CT scanner, probably for another week.

Simon is absent from rounds, again. Marks is pissed but not pissed enough.

I mean, obviously he's in his London bachelor's flat hastily undressing Tia Carrere. She pathetically demands a shower, because she's and I quote "stinky" (gross). Simon loves the way she smells (grosser). She's pissed that he even used "the L word" (grossest). And then she goes "You know that I have a husband and kids at home that I adooore." And he's like "Really?" And she goes "NnnAHAHAHAHA".  Which does not necessarily mean "No".

Meanwhile, in surgery, Gordon just starts wailin' along to the radio and she is a terrible singer. But we'd all guessed that. Then she looks up at the tiny scary asian lady and goes, "You a heavy metal rocker, Suzie?"

Suzie: Yeah, don't try to pretend to be some sort of awesome quirky medical eccentric.

Marks: (pulling up on his bike and honking the horn) Yes, Dr. Gordon, I've got that particular trope covered, thanks.

Gordon: Answer the question, underling, it'll make this all run smoother.

Suzie: Ohughhhohchristok. I'm a Country Western girl myself with over 10 hours of music on my iPod.

Me: That's nothing, I managed to accumulate over 24 hours of music on my iPod once by accident.

Gordon: Golly gee, really? By some stroke of magic, as the morale officer I am throwing a heavy metal - oh wait, you said Country, right? Country Western? I am throwing a Western-themed party at, um, Friday 1900!

Everyone stares blankly.

Gordon: It's gonna be great. There's gonna be... a campfire, and food, dancing, oh wait but to dance you need music and I only have 9.5 hours of music on my iPod oh dearie me what to do...

Some Guy: The Aussies have a mechanical bull.

Me: No they fucking don't.

Gordon: Oh... yeah, I tried to get it, but you know Aussies. Criminals, all of them. Who needs their shitty mechanical bull, amirite? Probably smells like, er, shrimp... and barbie...

Some Guy: Or you could just invite them.

Gordon: Huh. Courtesy. Interesting notion.

Aussies: *sniff* All you had to do was ask, mate.

Those awesome Rosencrantz and Guildenstern guys walk in laughing and being awesome and talking about their betting pool on the 2006 Golden Globes, so obviously Hugh Laurie's name comes up because remember 2006? And the Indian-looking guy goes, "I must admit, I did love him in Stuart Little." Which is hilarious to me because you guys, Hugh Laurie was in Stuart Little. But Vans has no time to talk about "Sugar We're Going Down" or how weird it is that Morgan Freeman is narrating a documentary about penguins; his computer keeps crashing and his online ladyfriend promised to send him crotch shots. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are respectfully disgusted, which they communicate through "OH YEAH"s and high-fives. The black one (let's call him Guildenstern) lends him his phone card to call tech support. But if Vans is in Afghanistan, who's manning the tech support desk!?

(I apologize for that last joke.)

Then Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are called upon to do their jobs, so they retrieve a shot British guy who's in some crazy medical shock. Trang leans over him and the camera catches a glimpse of a well-inked put hella stupid Que Sera Sera tattoo in old-timey gothic font. So while the poor shot British guy struggles and gurgles right in front of them, Gordon and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern talk party. Gordon manages to manipulate the Indian guy (Rosencrantz) into making curry and then goes off to befuddle some more villagers. The shot British guy (Graham) has cut-zoom disease, wherein he's being filmed entirely in cut-zooms, which means bad things I guess. It's weird seeing an ultrasound showing anything but a baby, you know? I was all excited by the bullet, I was like, There it is, that's the baby! But jokes on me, it's a bullet. Graham admits he lost control. Trang laughs and recounts the Saga of the Spider and the Gun. "It was the size of a shetland pony," whines Gordon. In response, Graham's vitals start freaking out and they rush him into surgery.

Gordon finds the bullet, which was hard going without the benefit of a CT scanner, and since there's no blood flying they figure they're done and close him up. But not before portentously deciding that the Vena Cava is probably not injured. We'll see, won't we.

"Major, these soldiers are here to see Private Barfer." Wait, what? Oh, Private Barford. What a name. That must have been hilarious when he got drunk for the first time and insisted on barfing in privacy. His unit is headed up by Phil Collins' twin. And one of the guys is super pale and very shaky. He claims he's fine, but one time I slashed my friend's finger with my skate blade by accident and I'm pretty sure I looked about the same.

Simon pours what seems to be a freaking crystal goblet of wine, which Tia Carrere turns down as it is before noon. So Simon downs it in one. And then he goes off on a monologue comparing women to wine and how most are like California wines, namely simple and ditzy and yummy, but Tia Carrere is like a fine European wine, "well-aged and full-bodied". Tia Carrere does not punch him in the nuts, which is a missed opportunity. I mean, his nuts are right there. GET 'EM.

Then Tia Carrere asks if he's "sipped from the new doc's barrel yet", which, yes, is pretty gross. He thinks Gordon is too much of a buzzkill. Tia Carrere points out that Gordon probably just doesn't like his dickish British ass. He goes, "No, no, I could have her if I wanted to." Again, please punch him in the nuts. Also, are you really just flying to Afghanistan for sex on Newsweek's dime?

Oh look. For the first time ever we get to see the Austrichienne actually doing her job. She's like the worst candidate for a psychiatrist. Even when saying totally innocuous things like "sometimes talking about it helps", she's just super unlikeable and definitely unloading a steaming crap of judgment on you. Phil Collins-looking guy comes up and says something kind of rude and dismissive about Pederson's rundown being "routine", and then recounts a story in which "Jenkins froze. Didn't you, son?" Here's a question: is anybody actually named Jenkins? Because I have a feeling that it's the name equivalent of 555 phone numbers and Oceanic Airlines; namely, it only exists in movies and TV. Dear readers, this matter must be put to bed. Help me out here. I need to know.

Anyway, Pederson smells something fishy and asks for "Jenkins'" version, but he just stonily recounts Phil Collins' version and petulantly storms away.  But if Pederson is the Queen of Judgment, then surely is Gordon the Princess thereof, and she shows up just in time to interrogate Phil Collins about what happened to Private Barfer.

Phil Collins: There was a sniper shooting in the air that night. Oh lord. And Private Barfer was shot while we were running away. Oh lord. BadumchabumbadumchabumBa Ba DUM.

Gordon: But he was shot from the front.

Phil Collins: I'm sorry ma'am, I found out how wrong when I thought I was right. He turned around to save a girl, and then got shot, it's just a shame, that's AA-all.

Gordon: Really.

Phil Collins: Kind of heroic, really. Su-su-ssudio.

Gordon: Get the fuck out of here.

So both Pederson and Gordon start to pull on their detective pants, but before they can really get started cracking the case Clandestine Puker's monitors start jammin' and his belly's all rigid and they have to rush into surgery.

Vans is on the phone with tech support and thus he is very angry and because Angry Vans is the best kind of Vans, it's hilarious. "You're asking me if the computer could have gotten over heated!? I'm in freaking Kandahar. It's 42 degrees in the shade." And, for our American friends, 107.6 fahrenheit. "Do the math, dood." I want to cuddle him. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern approach. Guildenstern hangs up the phone. Vans is just so sad.

Guildenstern: Well, there's one thing to do then.

Rosencrantz: Time for some surgery!

Vans: (with all the hope and wonder of a thousand holy rollers confronted with a Jesus-shaped salt stain) You guys think you can fix it!?

Rosencrantz: Fix it, or break it.

Vans: WOW!

And apparently the crotch shot girl thinks he's a Canadian colonel in his 40s. Because his handle is Xavier Marks. Oh Vans, I want to cook you dinner and listen to The Fray with you.

Later , in surgery - COMPUTER surgery - Vans is not 100% assured that Rosencrantz and Guildenstern have a good handle on what they're doing. Guildenstern drops his snazzy red-framed glasses over his nose and starts demanding instruments.

Meanwhile, in surgery - PERSON surgery - there's just blood everywhere. So much blood. Some might say too much blood. Suzie hangs another blood unit. You know where this is going.

Meanwhile, in surgery - COMPUTER surgery - the bros realize the transistor's fried and they need to find a new one. Vans slumps over with the despair of a thousand Asians receiving an A- on a math test. "Or," vamps Guildenstern, "Slightly used. The copier!" Vans begins to smile. Then they have to run off to answer a beep, and Vans begins to pout. But not before advising Vans to check the tech specs for the copier online. "Get online? MY COMPUTER IS DEAD," he wails. I'm just going to chart all of his facial expressions for the rest of the episode, if no-one objects.

Blood is quite literally spurting out of Secret Upchucker's chest cavity. LIke, you can hear it trickle. Everyone's starting to look a bit shifty and pessimistic, except Gordon, of course. Suzie hangs another round. Sutures are tearing. And in walks Marks, wearing a scrub mask and his angry eyes. There's a river of blood on the floor. You know the first promo shots for Rome? Yeah, like that. 

Speaking of Rome, I love it so much, you guys, I just love it so much. If you haven't seen it, go watch it right now. I'll wait.

We return with Marks confusedly asking why the content of his bloodbank is on the floor. Suzie awkwardly admits they're 40 units in, which probably means that they've completely cycled through Confidential Vomiter's actual blood, which means that if he actually lived he would probably have a few philosophical questions for himself mainly stemming from the fact that he's full of other people and if that means they are now his. But Marks is pretty sure that no he's not going to live, given that right now he could be put out on the lawn for the kids to run through in lieu of a sprinkler, and asks her to stop. And then orders her to stop. And as she frantically claims that there's a chance he could live, Marks says the words that pretty much encapsulate his job in this hospital: "Not enough of on to drain our blood bank." It's chilling. Gordon's eyes pop open like a cartoon squirrel. Marks and his Yoda ears storm out. Everyone stands around awkwardly as Classified Ralpher flatlines. Then Gordon goes "screw this" and stomps out. Indeed. Trang's replaced his awesome skull scrubcap for a boring cammo one. Doesn't he get sick of cammo?

Trang goes out to deliver the news to the Brits, who all salute enthusiastically. Maybe that's a military inside joke, how the Brits salute like anxious meercats. This whole scene goes by with the dialogue muted so you can really appreciate the sad faces. And the shitting-himself face of Jenkins. (Still not a real name, I'm sure of it.) Phil Collins is like "He'll be in my heart, yes he'll be in my heart, from this day on, now and forever more."

Tia Carrere is snapping pictures of Simon sitting around looking super cool in a leather jacket and white T-shirt. She starts bugging him about his new demeanor of sadness and notable increase in alcohol consumption. "How's your family?" "How's yours? You know, I checked the records. You are married." But of course, sir. Does he screw around too? "I suppose he might. People have sex for all sorts of reasons." Ain't it the truth. Good job, show. Simon gets her to shut up. She snaps another picture of him all cute-like. You guys, Tia Carrere is a good actor.

The chubby, cheerful and incompetent handyman is standing in the middle of the hallway with coffee when Marks walks up to tear him a new one. He does a lot of Rogan-esque shrugging and Marks gestures at him about his broken scanner. (God, this guy is so Montreal.) And right on cue, Buzzed Head Guy walks in to ruin his day. "Mass cal, multiple IEDs, a dozen or more soldiers injured."

So Vans is on a computer presumably searching out the copier specs so he can scavenge it for his laptop, which is both a violation of the rules and basic human decency, meaning it's like seriously bad news for him when Marks walks in. Thankfully, he's on Hannah's good side, so she drops a file which Marks' folksy chivalry demands he stoop to retrieve, giving Vans ample time to move his ass. More bad news: they can't unload the injured soldiers on the other nearby hospital because they're already tied up with casualties from an unfortunate rendez-vous between a school bus and an undetonated Soviet mine. Marks orders an emergency restocking of the bloodbank, which I think means that they're going to run around with comically giant syringes jabbing people in the ass and stealing pints. Either that, or Meaning of Life-style politely asking "Can we have your blood, then?"

Then Gordon walks in fit to be tied and informs Marks that she "respectfully disagrees" with his actions concerning Closet Spewer and she will be filing a formal complaint. Marks is like "Ooooo, I'm tho thcared!" She's like "Did you not hear me? I will be FILING a FORMAL COMPLAINT." He's like "Excellent. Now I don't know if you recall, but we are IN AFGHANISTAN and your hand-flapping stomping Sookie Stackhouse routine is so not productive right now when we're expecting a mass cal with no blood bank and no CT. Got it? Thanks." And there's an awesome moment when Hannah is eavesdropping like a champ and Royal's like look away, look away...

Austrichienne drops a plate with sandwiches and chips on it in front of Gordon. Literally, so that chips go flying. Gordon points her in the direction of Marks, if she wants to shrink somebody. Or, like, just leave. Go find a fence to paint or something. Psychologists who are only nice to people when they think they have work to do are worse than hemorrhoids. Austrichienne disagrees; she thinks the worst people are people who insist they don't need help, that they're "fine". Those people are pretty bad too, but she's worse. But she is kind of insightful when she says, "If you're fine after everything you've just experienced, then there is something quite wrong." And she also advises Gordon to "stop being right about Private Barfer. It only makes you angry, and being angry makes you stupid. And we don't need a stupid surgeon." And then she orders Gordon to wear her spider medal. Which I agree with.

Tia Carrere is snapping photos of that nurse/doctor who wears too much makeup, who's fine with whatever gets them more support. Simon walks by the donor clinic and snatches a cookie. "Those cookies are for the donors," says Trang with all the disdain of a thousand hipsters at a Twilight screening. And apparently he made them himself, which, AWWWW. "Well, I can't donate, I'm a doctor. I'll probably be on my feet for the next 24 to 48 hours, so don't I deserve a--" "STOP EATING THE COOKIES." I love Trang the most. I want to put him in a box with Vans, Royal, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern and UPS them to a half-hour comedy. Simon and Tia Carrere blow each other kisses, prompting Trang to laugh incredulously and wonder aloud how a guy who lies, drinks, and drowns puppies (probably) can get so many women. "You're a misogynist. And a cookie thief."

And then this happens. "Let me tell you something about women. See, women, they want to believe that they are riding the wildest horse that they can tame. They want stallions. And stallions are not nice." "Women - people - deserve respect." "Yes, in friendship, not in sex. See, women are not into geldings. I may be a world-renowned neurosurgeon, but behind these baby blues is..." "A douchebag?" "...is a poet at heart." Yeah, but Bobby still wins, you Dickish British Guy.

Tia Carrere accosts Gordon again with her camera, claiming she's "an interesting subject". Well Jesus, I hope so, she's the protagonist of a primetime medical drama.  Then she hands Gordon an envelope, claiming it'll keep her from "losing herself". GEE I WONDER WHAT IT IS.

Vans is standing glumly over the printer when Marks walks in and there's quite a bit of telling-off and apologizing when he's caught. Marks gives Hannah shit for letting that go down.

The helicopters are rolling in and Gordon goes up to Bobby to state the blatantly obvious; namely, somethings up with those shifty British wankers. Which seems to suggest friendly fire. "Find the bullet we took out of him and if it's NATO ordinance we know he was shot by one of his own," she says, and then the helicopters land.

Trang is just rocking and rolling in the ER. "Welcome to Kandahar, can I get you a soda?" he quips at an out-of-it but optimistic girl on a stretcher.

In surgery, Suzie dun-dun-duns that they're down to their last unit. But then another nurse/doctor who might be Beverly but that wouldn't make sense comes in with two more units, asking whether, "if the guys from KP bring more food and drinks, could they come to your party?" Gordon's like are you actually kidding me? Do I look like I give anything even approaching a shit?

A man who I am willing to bet my dog is not played by an Australian actor rolls up in a pickup with a mechanical bull in the back. It's a nicer mechanical bull than I'm used to seeing. That one in Urban Cowboy sucked in comparison. (Then again, Urban Cowboy sucked in comparison to, like, the world.) He asks Royal where he can drop it. Royal just sort of points with bewilderment.

Tia Carrere is leaving. She orders Simon to find someone to talk to. They hug and kiss very sweetly. Then this happens: "Keep your lenses clean." "Keep your scalpel sharp." Get it? Because she's like talking about his penis?

Royal strides up to Rebecca to ask where the hell she was exactly planning to plug in the mechanical bull, which will be a huge wattage suck. "I was thinking... the CT room," she pulls out of her ass. Then she plays the shit out of Royal into getting him to pull his good straaaangs for the campfire.

Then the frowny stern red beret guy from before strides up to Gordon, still stern and frowny, and gives her back her gun.

Gordon: What, no court martial?

Stern Red Beret Guy: It wasn't an accidental discharge, ma'am. You shot a spider.

Royal: *is surrounded by idiots.*

Buzzed Head Guy approaches Marks in the hall and recounts the most amazing tale of heroics I've ever heard in my life. The CT tech saw Vans running from the CT room, so he went inside and found a note that read: "The scanner is fixed. Sorry I broke the copier." And guess what? The scanner is fixed! And then we learn courtesy of Marks that Vans is ONLY SEVENTEEN.

Das a'ight. I'm still game if he is.

Guess what? The bullet is NATO. Says Bobby, "And I bet you it was Phil Collins, and Private Jenkins knows about it." You know, this part, where the show tried to make this a murder mystery, it totally went over my head upon first viewing. Probably because they did kind of a terrible job with building up suspense and all that.

Vans is walking the death march looking all sweaty and pale and dark under the eyes. Would that he were walking right into my arms. He gulps, and then knocks on Marks' door. Marks asks him to recount the Saga of the Scanner. Then Vans utters the real names of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern - Sgts. BJ Ford and BJ Mehra - but guess what? I'm still going to call them Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Then Marks utters Vans' real name - Bashir Alla Deep - but you're nuts if you think I'm going to ever call him that. Also, is his name Vans just because he really likes Vans? Kind of a shitty nickname. And then Vans gets a Canadian Forces Commendation. And then he leaves. But not before:

"DO NOT USE MY NAME AS YOUR ONLINE IDENTITY."

And then Vans goes back to his room to change his underpants.

Gordon is once again on the stomp-and-yellpath, starting first with Royal, and when he proves unflappable, she moves onto Marks and actually uses the word "cockamamie". Sure. And, after being told numerous times to "let intelligence handle it," she screams WHY IS EVERYONE TRYING TO COVER THIS UP?

But never mind that; time to PARTY. Everyone's standing around either in cowboy hats or those dumbass fishing hats. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Karaoke-ing on a porch with a goofy Western-style KANDAHAR sign and a notice that reads NO BICYCLES ON THE BOARD WALK, which I assume was erected for Marks' benefit. Simon is riding the bull. Bobby and l'Austrichienne notice that Gordon is nowhere to be found.

The strains of country music can be heard in Marks' office. Jenkins is still rather weepy. Phil Collins pulls Marks aside and reveals that Jenkins shot Puker, but that he would like to take the blame. Oh what a freaking shock. Who could ever suspect someone as adorably cockney of murder?

Pederson is not wearing that stupid braid, even though this is the one instance where it might be kinda appropriate. She and Trang barge in on Gordon, who has just finished musing over Tia Carrere's present: the picture of her wearing the Spider Combat medal. She's looking kind of depressed and pissed off and when she asks for privacy please the two intruders just park their asses right there. And then Bobby asks her to explain Stone Soup. She establishes that if she tells them, they'll agree to leave, and--

Jenkins recounts the story of how he freaked out and shot Barfer and you guys, it's so sad. This actor's ability to affect this on-the-verge-of-tears thing, like he's talking around a ball of lead in his throat, like it's almost painful to hold back the tears, it's just heartbreaking. And it's enough to convince Marks that he's telling the truth. So he very seriously informs Jenkins that his shot went wide, and the bullet in Barfer's chest came from an AK-47. And he's so happy. But it's bittersweet. And it was a really great scene.

"There's a famine going on, and a tramp comes into town, starving. So he asks the villagers for food, but they all turn him away. No-one has anything to spare. So he pulls out a cooking pot, starts a fire, fills the pot with water, and puts a stone in it."

Bobby is already lost.

"So soon, all the villagers are coming by to see what he's doing and he says, well, I'm making Stone Soup, and it's going to be delicious. But do you know what would make it better?"

Bobby: Real soup? (favourite)

"Meat, he said, meat would make it better. So one guy says, well, if I bring meat to add to your soup, can I have some? And the tramp says, yes, so pretty soon all the villagers are volunteering things to add to the soup so that they can have some. Get it? Everyone gets to eat and the tramp gets a free meal."

Pederson loves the story. I have to agree with her, I've always been a fan myself. Gordon's in a rotten mood; she snarks that it's all about greed and deception. Pederson points out that it's actually about how a group of people with very little can pull together and make something wonderful. And Gordon admits that she's a wreck. Pederson sends Bobby out for a drink so they can have girl time, and as he opens the door we hear that the party has devolved into dance music, which is just what happens, isn't it? Me and my friends, we used to have this rule that we always started our parties with Django Reinhardt so that when we inevitably ended up bumping and grinding to Lady Gaga we could claim the evening was born of classy origins. Gordon weeps at the fate of her carefully constructed party. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern lead the crowd in a rousing chorus of WHOOP WHOOPs. Marks looks on fondly.

Credits.

And it's actually pretty cool how they ended the episode on a sad note. Most primetime dramas would pick between a seriously bad sitch (the cliffhanger) or some sort of resolution. It's ballsy and unique, to have Gordon crying being the point of the episode, but it's genuine and I'm a fan.