The Borgias ep. 9, Nessuno (Nobody) - Review

Call me crazy, but I don't believe I've ever been asked to strip down to my undies in my place of business.

Nessuno (Nobody). A title that is actually Italian for an episode that is actually good.

Nessuno (Nobody). A misnomer, perhaps, since one thing this episode did do was give us at least a tasty tidbit of everybody. (Except Alfonso, but he might be dead.)

Nessuno (Nobody). Maybe it's accurate, since the downside of squeezing in a wrap-up of everybody's storyline means that some characters get weak wrap-ups. For instance, Awesome Juan's wrap-up basically amounted to "he lived happily ever after schtupping his little brother's wife; Little Gioffre suspects nothing". And Della Rovere's wrap-up was that he got his ass handed to him by Lucrezia, but that's old news by this point. However, Giovanni Sforza's trial and declaration of impotency was so hilariously justified and I loved it. And Charles' dismay at having inherited a wasteland of corpses was just beautiful.

The writing and editing was tighter than ever. The action was swift, but I wish there was a sword fight. (It didn't even have to pertain to the plot, I just wanted more of the thus-far awesome fight choreography.) Awesome characters continued and augmented their sheer awesomeness, insuring that they would be missed until season 2 decides to grace us with its presence.

But, talking of season 2, it is almost painfully obvious that the powers that be held so little hope of renewal when building this episode. Where was the cliffhanger? Where where where? Am I so conditioned by TV's tricks and contrivances that I cannot be sufficiently excited for next season without some huge explicit incentive? Without some ridiculous banner with the motto "SHITTUS BE BANANAE" and the Borgia bull in bright yellow? It's a little embarrassing, but yes, I am. But I think there's more to it: I'd been expecting something ridiculous and cliffhanger-y this whole time because of the show's established love of contrivances. Or maybe I was just apathetic enough about the writing and pacing that I figured the only way I could be satisfied would be with some serious banana-y shit.

But, however, però, I am satisfied. And I am satisfied because there is babies. Because, you see, babies are my goddamn kryptonite.